(sambungan)
Next morning, he had breakfast and as usual. Then, he smoked outside the house. He swore that he will not delay prayers and become a better person. From that day on he became more and more interested in Islamic websites. Moreover, he came across a very Islamic girl from the internet.
They exchanged opinions. He became more and more keen to improve himself. Almost every night, he would perform qiamullail. He asks forgiveness from Allah. He did not stop there, he also wanted guidance and strength so that he stays on the right path.
This time, the world was shocked with the Masacre in Gaza conducted by the Israeli’s. He felt painful for the Palestinians, his heart shattered. Oh, how inhumane. What the Palestinians feel, I feel it to, he thought. He took part the campaign to isolate and boycott products which were connected to Israel. It was hard for him. But he prayed with tears gushing down his cheek.
“Oh Allah, give me strength for I am doing my duty as a brother to protect those who needs me.
Oh Allah, give me strength to ignore my temptations towards those products. Oh Allah, all I have with me is You. Give me strength if my housemates ever tempted me with such products. What the Palestinians feel, I feel it too. I feel their pain, I am sad for them.”
That was what he recited over and over again.
10 o’clock at night, he came across one blog site, saying about the boycott. He was very interested in that article, it said “BOYCOTT HEDONISME, ITS TRULY AMERICA”. And he suddenly stopped at one sentence saying about cigarettes and smoking habits of the west. It also said that if we want to boycott them, we must also boycott their bad habits.
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Next day, his housemate offered a cigarette. “no thanks, I no longer smoke. I quit,” he told. “WHAT?” his friend, ripin was shocked to hear. “wow, that was drastic. Since when did you decide to quit?” ripin asked again. “owh, last night.”
From that day, he became very interested in that blog. He followed the update. He read older posts, “how much have I missed?” he asked himself. Indeed a lot he had to learn. He read about jihad, dakwah and tarbiyah. His heart became softer and tolerant. He started to accept all these. How foolish have I been in the past three years? He thought, and he suddenly started crying by himself again.
He then became close to kidiak, one of his classmate. Kidiak is a religious person, very Islamic. They prayed together at the mosque. From that moment he started to fell in love with mosques. He changed his way of life bit by bit. Every article he read or knowledge he gained, he tried hard to practice.
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He started to chat using Yahoo messenger with one girl. She was a true muslimah, he thought. He enjoyed exchanging opinions with her and express his regrets in his past life. He felt that someone like him is not worthy of talking to someone like her. He asked for her name, and she gave a positive respond. But she did not like to be called her full name, it was tiring. He called her, fa.
So, he was very fond of Fa. Because in some ways, she was always supporting his opinion. He fell in love with her. But, he did not want to risk having to suffer like he had during Raya. So he just kept his feelings to himself. But he enjoyed exchanging thoughts with her. Not long, she gave him her phone number. She had said it first, to his surprise. She told him that she liked him very much.
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It was nearing valentines day, and he read one article from the blog that he followed. It said about why muslims should not celebrate valentines, and that having girlfriends or boyfriends was HARAM in Islam. So, he decided that he will try to ask Fa for her hand in marriage. But he also told himself to wait until he finished his studies. Once his finance are secured, then he can start to propose her.
He told her that , they were not supposed to be too close. Its dangerous. It can lead to “zina” or at least “zina” in the heart. “your right. But, we are not couples right? We are just friends, not more than that.”
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Six months later, his interests in joining the dakwah movements in UTeM grew. He started attending usrah activities. He was very happy even though he had to extend one semester. He did his project, and finished it nicely. And he was also happy that Fa had a chance to further her studies from diploma to bachelor degree.
After reading one article, it was all about marriage. That was when suddenly it strucked him to propose Fa. He asked her “I have kept this feeling to myself for a year, but I don’t think I can keep this feeling any longer. So, Fa, are you willing to become my wife?”. He thought a few times before sending the text message. His hands were trembling, but in the end, he sent it anyway.
Sadly for him, her reply was negative. “I’m sorry, but I want to accomplish my dreams, this have only been my first semester in here so, please try to understand ok.” He was heartbroken with her reply, but he kept strong. Be strong, Allah plans to give me someone better.
It was one week, and he felt as normal as can be. He was his usual self, waking up early for qiamullail. He attends usrah every week. He thanked Allah that he became closer to his usrah friends in just less than a month. He felt very close to them. He thanked Allah, for placing his heart fully on Islam.
Now that, he became stronger than ever..
(sampai sini jelah criter nyer, mgkin ada sambungan lagi..wallahu’alam)
p/s: main character nye sebenarnya diri ana..lepas tamat sekolah, bertahun-tahun ana tinggalkan dakwah.